In our discussions at Proton, we keep implying that your ambitions should be very big, and some of you ask, "What if we never meet those goals? Won't we be disheartened?"
The answer is simple, "If the goals are about YOU, then of course you'll feel broken. But if the goals are about something larger than you, then you'll be all right."
For me, this realization came while I was at Stanford. I had just finished my IIT at the top of my class, been funded by a prestigious fellowship for Stanford, my Master's was going okay, I had many options in front of me - and I felt confused and low. Which road should I pick, I asked myself. Should I be a consultant at McKinsey? A corporate executive? An academic at some good university? An entrepreneur? Should I come back to India? Or should I do what all my colleagues were then doing and stay in the US for a while? What if I make the wrong choice - how dreadful will that be!
Then I remembered what Gandhiji had said, and I quote from memory, "When in doubt as to what to do, remember the face of the poorest, most wretched person you have seen. Do what is best for that person."
I was walking when I remembered this, and I literally stopped in my tracks. Imagine the sprawling Stanford campus, tree covered roads, bicycle paths, low yellow buildings with red roofs, a Californian idyll. And me standing there, marveling at how my life had suddenly become clear.
I am not as great a person as Gandhiji was, so I immediately adapted his rule. My personal rule became - and I remember it to this day - "Primarily, try to create the most happiness for the most people over the course of your life. Secondarily, give yourself a chance to achieve the things that excite you." I've never felt confused again about the direction I want to take. I started working with Manu with just this rule in mind.
The same thing will occur to you within a company. Someone will backstab you, someone will steal credit for what you have done, someone will speak harshly to you. Think beyond yourself. Think about the good of the company, work for the good of the company, see if you might be misunderstanding the situation, keep moving forward. Do not get bogged down by petty things. It's natural to be hurt by what others think and say - it happens to everyone - but try to control your thoughts, set your ego aside and think about the greater good. Think beyond yourself.
Warning: The one place where this doesn't work well is in matters of the heart! In relationships with family and friends and significant others, it is much more difficult to think beyond yourself. That is why these relationships are very special, perhaps the most valuable and vexing things of all!
24 comments:
Respected Sir,
I strongly believe as an academician you are always thinking beyond yourself,for the good of others(students). Whatever they may feel about their faculty members and other senior authority but definately it gives a great pleasure when you share your knowledge/ wisdom with students. Similarly an academician is also dedicated to the organization where he/she is imparting the knowledge, thus, always thinking for a greater cause.
Good morning sir,
Happy teachers day
Sir,
You have guided me to make rules and now my rule is "FOR HAPPINESS THINK BEYOND YOURSELF"
As per my understanding:
In relationships we have to quit our ego, anger & sometimes needs to say sorry what we have not actually done ; just to make our relationships more stronger and forever.
So sir this is thinking beyond yourself.
Am i right or wrong?
Regard
Proton Sudeep
Good morning sir,
Happy teachers day
Sir,
You have guided me to make rules and now my rule is "FOR HAPPINESS THINK BEYOND YOURSELF"
As per my understanding:
In relationships we have to quit our ego, anger & sometimes needs to say sorry what we have not actually done ; just to make our relationships more stronger and forever.
So sir this is thinking beyond yourself.
Am i right or wrong?
Regard
Proton Sudeep
Happy Teacher's Day Sir...
Wonderful !
Hi Sir,
Some time i think about world as a whole,cycle of life, all material things & their respective presence. It really gives an different approach to look at things, do's & don'ts in life. Your writeup has given really good continuation for same approach. Thanks.
Respected Sir,
Happy Teacher's Day
I hope your blessings are always with us.
Nice to read this!
Thank you for such a great learning.
Proton Chetan Choparia
Indore Campus (Fall 09)
Respected Sir,
Thank you for enlightening us
"Happy Teacher's day"
रोज सुबह मिलते है इनसे , क्या हमको करना है,
ये बतलाते है ।
ले के तस्वीरें इन्सानों की ,सही गलत का भेद हमें,
ये बतलाते है ।
कभी ड़ांट तो कभी प्यार से ,कितना कुछ हमको ,
ये समझाते है ।
है भविष्य देश का जिन में ,उनका सबका भविष्य ,
ये बनाते है ।
है रगं कई इस जीवन में,रगों की दुनिया से पहचान
, ये करवाते है ।
खो ना जाये भीड़ में कहीं हम ,हम को हम से ही ,
ये मिलवाते है ।
हार हार के फिर लड़ना ही जीत है सच्ची, ऐसा एहसास, ये करवाते है ।
कोशिश करते रहना हर पल , जीवन का अर्थ हमें ,
ये बतलाते है ।
देते है नेक मज़िल भी हमें , राह भी बेहत्तर हमे ,
ये दिखलाते है ।
देते है ज्ञान जीवन का , काम यही सब है इनका ,
ये शिक्षक कहलाते है ।
Thanks for being my Teacher!
Regards
Yashwant Chandrawanshi
HELLO SIR......
HAPPY TEACHERS DAY***
I REALY belive in think big ,so i like the most ,
from my side sir "You will never go any higher than your thinking ,so just think big and do big...." agan
happy teacher day*******
-- PROTON SATYAWAN MALHAN
Dear Sir,
It was such an insightful reading that explored the untrodden horizons of intellect and sanguinity. Sir, I am a beginner to blog reading and now I feel agonized at how I was untouched to such a wealth of knowledge and understanding. Great learning Sir.
Yours sincerely
Munish Sharma
Fall'09, Indore.
Respected Sir,
Wish you a 'Happy Teacher's Day.'
Sir, the day never ends without reading the articles on the blogs of our PROTON. It's a daily planting of 'lily on our hair' - pure,modest,authentic,everlasting and beautiful learnings, out of real life experiences. Thank you Sir for sharing your thoughts.
After reading this article, I reflected back on sad experiences of life. And thought of how I could had looked at them with a wide eye.I found many answers.
Sir, from the Bible, I would like to quote a Proverb - The leech has three daughters. ' Give, give, give,' they cry. And from a spiritual book, a phrase ,'dissociation in association.' These among other things learnt, kept me calm during times of distress.
The tendency towards accumulation is one thing we have never parted with since the time of hunting-gathering - accumulation of everything - from physical to abstract. We live with our grips firm and tight on all good and challenging situations, our pain and grudges, our thoughts and beliefs, our knowledge and wisdom. We live in a multicoloured dome which stains the white radiance of tranquility. We need to learn the art of 'releasing', of 'letting go' of 'learning, unlearning and re-learning.' We need to dissociate. I feel that this links directly to 'thinking beyond oneself.' It is after realizing this that a person would be able to think larger than himself. Happiness, then, is, coming out of oneself, thinking about the greater good, and a feel of immense gratitude for being able to stand under and appreciate such a vast and varied canopy called 'life.'
Thank you Sir for reading.
Sincere regards,
Proton Nidhi Agarwal
Fall 2009 Intake
Indore
Dear sir,
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful pearl of learning from your ocean of knowledge and practical learning of your life. In stage of Tamas(Sanskrit tamas "darkness")most of we faces this darkness. I am facing this types of darkness since during my graduation. Most of time i always thinks, what i wants to do in life?,What is the main purpose of life?, What is my sound strengths?And which will help me in future?,which field i choose for my future? Because we have some limitation in the life. We can not do every things in life.
Sir please guide me.
Regards,
Proton Meenketan Patel
Hello Sir,
ablosutely awesome thought.
This thought has put me in the condition to think about the relationships apart from the studies.
Thank you
Proton Pankaj Gangwani
Good Evening Sir,
It was a great effort by your side to make us realize that we should think beyond ourselves or else we can never grow. Many a times it happens to us that others are always ready to fetch the credit of what they have not done and we have to compromise. Today I am sure to let it go and try to think beyond it.
Thank You Sir
Vidit Shah
Indore Campus
Meenketan, there may be no single purpose in life. You may have to create your own purpose, like I did.
If you want to know what your strengths are, you might want to buy a copy of the book "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham. A friend Darshan Bhat gave me a copy and it was eye-opening.
Nidhi, you write very well. You must be reading a lot too, right?
Sudeep, I think you are right in your observation.
Satyan, Munish, Umesh, Yashwant, Chetan, Vinay, Jagrat, Vidit, Pankaj - thanks for your notes.
Good Morning Sir,
I would like to ask two questions.
First question:
I want to know how to recognize happiness in sad days. Because in sad days I just get depressed and in depression i can not understand that how to be happy again.
please suggest me how to improve?
Second question:
Present happiness is important or future happiness?
Sir I have to take a decision on which my present & future happiness depends. If decision goes good for present happiness then it can harm me in future. But if i would go for future happiness then it will harm me in present.
I want to take decision quickly.
Please suggest how to decide?
Hi Sir,
Your thoughts are always helpful for us.
I have worked for a couple of organizations and sometimes it has happened to me that after working hardd on something, the credit was given to others. Sometimes i felt really frustrated. But the lines of Gandhiji are really magical.
Thanks for these words.
Proton Saurabh Natani
Fall 2009 Intake, Indore
You are right, Saurabh, Gandhiji's lines are magical.
Deepesh, you ask two big questions. I will attempt the answers but remember, this is only my approximate view and it may change depending on the details of the question. First answer: the way I get over sad days is by remembering that I have ALWAYS gotten over them! At least that makes the sad feeling easier to bear - knowing it will go away. Second answer: for work, I would go with future happiness, but for other personal matters I would go with current happiness (as long as ideals are not being violated) because the personal side of one's future is harder to predict than the career side.
Dear Sir,
I personally believe in the same learning that, if you want to achieve your dream in your dream in life you need to realize the dreams of others as well and try to make amendments in letting them achieve their dreams. Thank you Sir.
Hello sir,
This was a wonderful post. Especially the Gandhian rule shared was will help many of us.
Sir this was from professional point of view. Can you please share from personal point of you, as in the things which are very close to heart. I feel they break you more than anything else.
Juhi, personal matters are extraordinary - you can let them drive you crazy. It's very easy to be hyper-sensitive. The best antidote I've found is to say to myself that, no, I have a right to be happy and I will not let minor subjective matters interfere with my happiness. I will disengage, I will ignore, I will pamper myself - whatever. But I will not let my emotions become a football that every Tom, Dick and Hari can kick around!
Thanks a lot for the reply. I am very bad at Emotional Intelligence and so I will try to follow your way of handling it.
Sir,
this is really true and fantastic article and at the same time very wise.
After reading this post I thought you would like this.
http://www.ted.com/talks/devdutt_pattanaik.html
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