Depression is a topic people don't talk much about, but not talking about it is costly in human terms. Three people dear to me have taken ther lives due to depression. Several others have seriously attempted to but were luckily saved.
What hurt the most was that the things that drove the unlucky friends to despair and ultimately to their deaths are things I relate to perfectly. I was left wishing I could turn back the clock and share with them my own disappointments and pain so that they would have realized that they were not alone. Then perhaps they would have chosen to live. This pain and regret will never leave me.
The terrifying despair often stems from the shame of failing, of feeling worthless. After a while the despair feeds on itself. To break out of the vicious cycle, you need to know that it is not uncommon to feel that way and that you will one day make it through to the other side and what is destroying you today will only be a memory.
As human beings we are prone to depression, some of us more than others. I think that people with a deeply intellectual, philosophical or romantic bent of mind struggle with depression more than others. There are also genetic predispositions. The poets Percy Shelley, Samuel Coleridge and William Blake, and perhaps most famously the artist Van Gogh, all suffered from it.
I personally have a mind that is perhaps very mildly bipolar. It tends to oscillate between periods of inspired creative energy and periods when I really have to push myself from within to do the things I have to do. The latter are luckily very short and infrequent, but they give me an insight into what full blown depression might be like.
I respect people like Ted Turner (founder of the Turner Broadcasting which launched channels such as CNN, TCM and TNT) who announced that he had bipolar disorder so that others may cope with their own problems with more confdence. For some of us, these mental problems may be very powerful diseases requiring medical treatments. For most of us though, an acceptance of the working of our minds and a positive life approach may be enough to pull us through. Either way, there is nothing to be ashamed about. Think about your problems with the positive belief that you will solve them or at least learn to deal with them. Do not ever think you are alone, do not ever contemplate taking your life. And if you ever come to those dark crossroads, come and talk to me, frankly and openly. I'll change your mind, I promise.
18 comments:
Dear Sir,
Depression though hidden but is the emerging problem of the human community in this era. I've also come across many people who inspite of achieving great success are dissatisfied for some or the other reason which leads to frustration.
As you said that the shame of failing & feeling worthless, I believe both these points are an outcome of the response people give to us. Being a social creature we always tend to interact with someone or the other, so these are the only people who make us feel either top of the world or pull us down on the earth.
Now, I wanted to know that is a person himself/herself responsible for the depression, or society drags towards depression?
In India, it is patently dangerous to publicly accept any disease you may be having, more so any "psychological" limitation(s) you may have. It is quite surprising to see this attitude.
Hi Kumar Ankit,
It's difficult to separate cause and effect in such cases. In fact, science tells us that even time may not be not unidirectional always, so which is the cause and which is the effect?
Cheers,
Manas
Hello sir,
I have lost my dearest one just due to depression. I wanted to know "What should be done if we know we can't get what we want in future & we are still passing our time with it and assuming we can manage or change the future , if we stop the same now ; it will leads to pains and depression only"
Are we on right track or not?
Respected Sir,
Good Morning.
Most people assume that depression is an illness. Although you can be very ill when you are suffering from depression.
Depression makes you indeed ill and very unhappy but that does not mean that it is always a negative phenomenon. Many times depression precedes a better, more competentancy in life.
I think depression may be a negative and positive, like we have in hindi "chinta" & "chintan".
Sir, what you think about this?
If I am wrong please make it right.
Regards!
Respected Sir Good morning,
As i know and experience depression many a time in my life, this is the mental state where people avoid their real work and involve in other meaningless activities.To avoid problem of depression we should know our real destiny and how to achieve it?
one way to get this knowledge is reading books, magazines,blogs etc. those are having plenty of knowledge. One such book is "The monk who sold his Ferrari".
"Teaching is the profession that teaches all the other professions." - Anonymous
Dear Teacher/ Mentor,
Wish you a wonderful Happy Teacher's Day! Thank you for your care and concern you have provided for us. It will be deeply etched in out hearts. Thank you for everything.
Regards
Praveen Patidar
Dear Sudeep, I am sorry to hear of your loss and your sharing it makes me feel I did the right thing by putting out that blog post.
To your question, I have no simple answer. My more complex answer is that there is no simple right thing to do. You have to make up your own rules in life.
My rules are: "a) I want to be happy, and b) I want to do good to others because it makes me happy". I realize these rules are very specific to my upbringing. If you are finding it difficult to know what rules work for you, think about your childhood and you may find the answer.
Hulesh, I think your point is very solid. I agree with it 100%. Vinu, good observation.
Praveen, thanks for the Teacher's Day wishes.
Dear Sir, thanks for choosing to write on this topic. Well many a times I may want something very passionately but I may not/don't get it. I get really dishearten. Though I have a will to be happy,cheerful and move forward with life, still meanwhile I waste lot of my time and energy thinking about it. How can I avoid wasting that time and not being attached so much with things?
Dear Sir,
It is truly explained by the depression blog that we humans are social animals and we need family or friends when we are not in a normal mood.
Thanks for the insight.
Proton Vidit Shah
Indore Campus
i feel that depression is just a state of mind..it starts from your mind and you can end it in your mind..it is nothing more then an IllUSION...YOU DONT HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS YOU JUST HAVE TO STOP LETTING YOUR THOUGHTS CONTOL YOU...
Sudeep and Ankit this 1 was for you pals..cheers...!!
regards,
Kirandeep Singh
Juhi, your question has been asked so many times in the last few days that I will put up a post today to answer it.
Vidit, thanks for your note.
Kirandeep, what you say is totally true. Still, while it may be fairly easy when things are going well, it's more difficult when things are not. Let's say a person has a serious accident and has his face disfigured and loses his job and is bedridden. And then say he loses a loved one. Will he then be able to control his thoughts easily? I say this NOT to contradict what you are saying - you are totally correct - but just to point out that we should have more sympathy for what a depressed person may be going through.
Thank you sir,
Your reply has motivated me a lot
Rules are the right way to keep us happy for present . What may come we have to manage, so be in present and enjoy life ..
Regards
Proton Sudeep
:"Think about your problems with the positive belief that you will solve them or at least learn to deal with them. Do not ever think you are alone, do not ever contemplate taking your life. And if you ever come to those dark crossroads, come and talk to me, frankly and openly. I'll change your mind, I promise.;'"
repected sir ,,,
ur ths line ,"i feel" would really help me a lot..thanks for ths learning.......
Kratika, if you found even a little bit of help through my writing, my day is made!
true sir..thanks a lot.
Respected Sir,
Thank-you for taking up such an issue which is not spoken much because of the feeling that this word might tend to carry a meaning which is related to PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS. Depression has different effects on different people. My mother is suffering with Alzheimer after a long phase of depression. So I always try that a person around me should not be depressed about life.
But it happens that when you need someone to help you out there's no one around, then you either float or you either sink deep.
Seema Patil
Indore campus
Respected Sir,
I completely agree to your point that people with romantic thought process suffers from depression. I would like express my opinion in 5 points:
1.No human being can live without friends and people who socially accept and admire.
2.I believe the people who are less social involves themselves completely in those activities in which they do not need any human help like reading books, writing, listening to music etc. Now, more they involve themselves in such activities more they become isolated from the people. A vicious cycle starts that drags them towards different shades of depression.
3.These people may be highly determined and passionate towards their goals.
4.Another inability which these people face is to express feelings in front of others and insecurity.
5.Though they are less social but they are good in understanding human psychology and human behaviour.
What are your suggestions to make them more social and vivacious ?
Do you think that such people can't become leader in their profession?
Regards,
Proton Richa Rai
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